It's 5:27AM now and trust me, I don't even know what I'm doing being up until now. I cannot sleeeeeeep :/ Talked to Jaan quite lama. Well, normal punya duration lah. Hee :3 Cannot remember pukul berapa berhenti cakap, yang penting, he was very sleepy so I let him go sleep. Hahah. I wasn't sleepy though, still not, so I stayed up doing nothing. Intan was talking to her boyfriend and checking her Facebook simultaneously and then she, too, went to sleep.
Can I vent something out? Nothing, really. Just want to vent.
Of course I can thank you.
I've learned that ego ruins things. I've known that undeniable fact dah lama dah pon. And learned from it time and time and time again. I'm egoistic, all right. I thought I'm a wall-free, ego-clean type of person bila dengan yang tersayang. Tak jugak. I have my dad's keras kepala and ego tapi tak sekeras dan tak se-severe dia, But I do have them in me. Alhamdulillah syukur, pemarah panas baran takde dalam diri ini. Walaupun, now and then, I lost control jugak. Bantal dan selimut jelah jadi mangsa. Paling teruk pon, a gift from Dad. A beautiful watch. I ruined it sampai tak boleh function langsung. Cermin pecah, jarum-jarum habis patah. That was the worst lepas-marah kot. Alhamdulillah, I'm not the mencarut type either.
I'm not the kind yang selalu marah marah tak tentu pasal jugak. I'm not grumpy. A wee bit sarcastic kot. I joke around pretty harsh. With certain people lah tapi. It depends actually. Krr. Siapa yang faham, faham laa. Siapa yang terasa, just know I'm sorry and I don't mean it to heart. I mind my own business most of the time. And that applies to any conditions. I share a lot but I keep things to myself a lot too. Everything isn't really everything pon.
I've decided that if I have children someday, they won't be the only ones who will be apologizing on Eid. Or bila-bila, really. I don't want those barriers. Kita parents, kita betul, anak-anak kena dengar cakap kita. It's not fair. Bukan nak melawan cakap, kurang ajar ke apa. Adat dunia; everybody makes mistakes. And when they do, they apologize, despite the age whatsoever. If I have children, I won't let them feel alone or like they don't belong.
Kadang-kadang banyak yang kita boleh belajar daripada budak-budak. Lagi banyak, in fact. They're part of Allah's greatest creations jugak kan?
Ego creates walls.
Ego prevents chances.
Ege just ruins lah..
Uuu I spelled Ego wrong. Hahahaha -_-
I want to be an ego-maniac no more :/
Aku pon tak faham apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan dekat sini. Antara perenggan pon tak berkaitan langsung. Tidur adalah perlu. Perlu tidur. Toodlesszzzzz