I have the tendency (tendencies, I believe) of hurting the wrong people when I'm.. mad. Or dissatisfied. Or moody. Or when things aren't going my way. Or, I don't know, just for the sake of hurting. But I couldn't hurt the people that hurt me. So I hurt others.
The wrong ones.
The don't-deserve-it ones. It sucks.
Hurting here, using my definition, means the words I say or the things I do as a response to them are hurtful enough for them to feel pain.
Pain, as in, emotional pain. Pain. Pain!
You can say I'm a jerk. I know I am one.
People say that when you're mad you say the truest things. Only in that hurtful cruel despicable way, of course.
Do we always hurt the people we love? Like, really? Do you?
I do, I guess. I'm used to it that sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it.
I hurt them. Unintentionally.
Because I'm mad. Because I'm dissatisfied. Because things aren't going my way. Because hurting people give me that temporary satisfaction to the pain I'm holding in.
I don't mean it. I honestly don't. At least not in that way. I wish I could say it at other times where I could say it in a more appropriate, pain-free way. But when those times come, I usually let it pass. Which bring us back to the 'I'm a jerk' point. Add some more to make it interesting, I'm also an idiot.
Yippee.
I'm truly sorry for those moments. I feel bad :(