I'm by the window all right. And, boy, isn't this spot hot. Tanning session of half of my face starts now! Ehm.
Hari bermula apabila Bonda buka pintu kejut bangun tidur. Bangun, capai towel and straight to the bathroom. Normal stuff happened and brunch! I don't do breakfasts now. Oh, how I miss breakfast. What to do. I used to have breakfast and loved it. I don't mind waking up early in the morning just to have a plate of good roti telur or roti sardin and secawan milo ais sejuk. Oh, yes. I drink Iced Milo everywhere I go, anytime as far as I'm concerned. Saya kanak-kanak Milo please. God, I miss Mamak restaurant punya environment. I used to go to Rafi with a bunch of my friends. Good times, they were. Breakfast before class or exam, Rafi. After class feeling hungry and nowhere to go or prolly for dinner, Rafi.
Okay you can say I miss Shah Alam. Terribly. And I can guess, most of you would know why.
:')
So after brunch I was doing something I cannot remember :/ Pak Uda dropped his wife and kids at our house and went to perform Solat Jumaat. He came back after that, though. Didn't have the chance to layan Ieya and Uman and Wafi much because I have to cook. Ieya, as always, being a cutie-pie, was very cute. Munching all the time. Pergi dapur minta air dengan mulut penuhnya. And bila dah dapat air, senyuuuumm :) Ah, that fat kid. I love you ♥
Uman was a sweetheart, of course :) Hope you'll grow up good and handsome and don't lose the way that you smile so widely showing those cute teeth and dimples. But of course, he has to toughen up a little bit. Selalu kena cakar dengan Ieya, gigit dengan Ieya, pukul dengan Ieya. Aiyoo, who's the big bro sini Uman? Ish.
Moving on.
Supposedly, I was to prepare a delicious Daging Kurma for the family today but since being me, I forgot to check if serbuk kurma masih ada dalam stok atau tidak. Turned out, takde. So no Daging Kurma for the family, Daging Kari lah since masak kari is kind of my new expertise now :"> Hahaha tett.
We had our lunch. Late lunch but still lunch.
Oh, Mak Uda gave a box of strawberries since Pak Uda baru balik dari outstation dekat Cameron Highlands. I'm not a big fan of strawberries but the heck orang nak kasik kan? Hee. So, I was bored. And I decided to have some strawberries-dipped-with-chocolate moment :) I ate them with smiles. Aish and Poksu were enjoying that too. Hee.
Semalam Aish ada Hari Bicara Akademik (ehem, Hari Bertemu Ibubapa :P). A day that, supposedly, parents should come to school and check their children's result out. Yeah. The day that most students dread about. I didn't. Mom never came but that wasn't the problem now. So Aish's result was, good. For a person that I have never seen him holding a book let alone revising, his results are pretty amazing. The teacher cakap Aish was pretty thrilled sebab dia punya Mathematics dapat B. Oh being in the family, getting a B for Mathematics is like Pizza Day. Satisfying. Of all the the good traits I have, being a sucker in Maths yang being handed down to Aish. Haish, kesian. But despite the fact that he sucks in Math, he works on it pretty hard. Just like I do. I work hard on subjects that I hate. I heard on Oprah some day in the past, said by Dr. Mehmet Oz, 'She hates it but she does it everyday' on Oprah of her hate towards exercising.
Oh that changed my life, all right. Well, for some things la. Hihi
So yeah, Aish's results was good.
I cannot wait to start studying again. Tangan dah gatal nak get on books dah nieh. But, you wanna know something? I always thought that being able to call myself a (soon-to-be) medical student is pretty glamorous. All suited-up. Nerds. But that kind of nerds that people look up to, you know. Happy inside and outside because you're a future doctor. Nothing beats that. Of course, I was a fool. That was longggg ago. Before I got to know the not-so-bright side of it. Before I got to know that people are struggling to make my dreams come true. And this particular dream of mine right here, the people behind are my parents.
You see, I have always been the one in the family, among the siblings, that pretty aware of everything. I have no idea of what my brothers are thinking most of the time but one thing I know, they don't see what I see. From my point of view, I mean. At least I think they don't.
Nothing breaks my heart more than when I saw my dad's face when he looked like giving up. I'm not really in a good terms with my dad, you see. We hug like once a year and we don't say I love you to each other everyday. We have that ego, you know. I'm much like him. I'm like his version of a girl.
But I never saw him that helpless. He's always been that strong man. The strongest I've ever seen in my life, I guess. He works all the time. For money, of course. To pay the fees. For my studies. This is my dream, you see. Being a doctor. But he works like it's his dream. Can you imagine that kind of .. selfless? I don't know if I'm ever gonna have that strength to be one. Selfless.
I was touched, all right. Kadang-kadang sampai mempersoalkan balik if my firm decision of becoming a doctor nieh betul ke tak. If I chose something else they won't be like this. It's a complicated family thing. And no one will understand another family's problem more than its own kan?
So yeah, it isn't all glamorous anyway. At least not for me. Financially, macam nak bernafas pon tak boleh. But I cannot do anything. I've heard enough of 'Nantilah. Mak takde duit' ever since I started my cuti last June. I'm not the one yang jadi the main source of the family's finance sekarang. Mak and Ayah are. Not me. Not Aish, not even Abang. I've tried to be ignorant sometimes. About the financial stuff. Asking unnecessary things. But I regretted it laa.
Korang pernah tengok that face bila tengok dalam wallet expecting a stack of money would appear out of thin air tapi what you only have is some tens and ones jeh. But you have to pay for things because you have family of five to feed.
I have. And it was heart-breaking. And I even thought it'd kill me when I saw it on my mom's face. I pray you won't get to see that. Ever.
I cannot be ignorant, I thought. I have to be strong. I'm the only girl my parents have. I cannot be a girl forever kan? I have my dad's stubbornness and I have my mom's strength. Sure I'll be fine. And plus, I have my two knights :') Sure they won't let me fall. And, too, I have Jaan. He won't let me break. And of course, I have Allah the Almighty. He gets me here, He'll get me through it.
So yeah. Being a medical student isn't glamorous at all. Not for me. It's an ass-huge responsibility.
God, pening.
One thing for sure, once dah habis belajar nanti I'll have those hutangs hanging on my neck waiting to be paid. Death rope betul. Hmph. Macam mak selalu cakap to remind me of all my hutangs nanti, 'Nak beli spende pon takde duit nanti sibuk dok fikir macamana nak bayar hutang nanti'
Hahahaha. And she added, 'Apatah lagi nak kahwin!'
GULP!
Oh you're laughing now? Three hundred thousand isn't a matter to be laughed about, is it?